Talking Ourselves Into (and Out of) Connection

We talk to people every day, but research reveals surprising blindspots in our conversational awareness. We don't realize that we're quietly calculating the end of another person's sentence, actively building a shared sense of reality, or leaning on well-worn paths to make others laugh.

In this talk, Zachary Reese, professor at the University of San Francisco, walks through some of these blindspots before zooming into his own research on how fears around self-presentation get in the way of real connection. He has found that people are reluctant to share good news with close others for fear of seeming like they're bragging, and that fear of stealing the spotlight stops us from mentioning similar experiences, even though doing so tends to make us seem more responsive and credible.

Reese will also share findings from his newest research on the fear of talking too much during first encounters, drawn from speed-friending studies, before closing with practical, research-based tips for having more and better conversations.